yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
