Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
