My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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