I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
