lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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