so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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