you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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