I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize