I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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