If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
