I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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