I love having hate sex.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
