Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
