About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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