Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if only i could text you this smell
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
