yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
