Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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