I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
