? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
