i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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