I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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