Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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