you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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