Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
