Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
