I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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