So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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