I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
