I think i sorta joined a cult last night
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
