well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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