...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
