Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
