No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
