were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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