I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
