i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
