You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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