Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
