Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
