so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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