??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
