eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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