She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
