at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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