she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
