Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
