Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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