my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
