Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
