Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize