I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
