Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
