honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
