Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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